I know, it's not my wedding!!! That was why it was ok for me to be SICK at this moment. It was a pure torture this morning when I had to wake up at 8am to make myself ready for the meeting at 9am. Especially when I enjoyed so much sleeping at my usual spot at the left of the bed. That makes me wonder whether it was just the place or the person which I am actually more keen on. I guess perhaps it was just the place after all. I always love to have my own space, I mean real spacious place with privacy, not like this less than 10sqm room... Maybe that was why I always love to come and visit. Just being there slowly make myself believe that the space is actually mine!!! Anyways I'm glad that nothing that I didn't like happened again last night. Mom, told you that you need to have confidence and faith in me!!! I kept my promise to you and also I proved that I am able to overcome the inner desire that I have.. A big STAR for that, eaayy?
Horrible things happened when I came back after the meeting. Boy, I sneezed for the 101 times already!!! Till the abdomen muscles hurt!!! And I think I can easily finish the whole box of tissue if this keeps going. One thing makes me wonder.... How strange the same output didn't result in the same input... This pretty much shows me how much I weigh at both ends. How long more do I have to wait to see the truth revealing itself? Anyways, it was great to be distracted by the sweet things you did for me. That chicken porridge with century eggs was awesome. Especially it was delivered all the way by you. Plus the super effective nasal spray, and the new cold/flu tablets.. Oh God, how I hope tonight I can sleep better. And how I wish all the sickness would be gone by this Sat so that I can enjoy myself with the gals at the Hen's!
How I think my story is very much similar to what she encountered... She chose to stay around, which I believe will bring more possible misery to her own life. I am fully awake now to know that I have the choice to leave.. (and possibly land there when my heart is safe)... or find elsewhere to land it... or keep it to myself, nurture it and protect it from any further harm from him.. but for now, I just have to slowly get back my heart, and bring it back to where it should belong... I'm really glad that the physical effect on me is slowly diminishing.... let it be totally gone.... and then I will come back!!!
AbOuT tHiS site
- The Shepherd-KaTh
- this is created out of boredom. but at the same time a platform that i used to scribble my thoughts; it could be what i personally feel now at the moment when I write or just some feeling from the past, or it could be a part of my imagination. it can be what i hear, what i see, or what i believe. it can be anything really.. you are here because you know me. you could be one of my closer friend, or perhaps an old friend from home. but if you happen to just accidentally find this, sorry that means you are lost and you may want to leave immediately.
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